R is for Are You Running Tabs in Favors?

R is for Are You Running Tabs in Favors?

are you running tabs in favors

Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them. – Dalai Lama

When you’re asked to do a favor for a friend or family, do you expect a return on the favor? Are you running tabs of the many good deeds or loans you have given to others? Are you awaiting a return on these favors or loans? Or do you give freely as a gift with no strings attached?

Learning to give is a healthy way to go through life. Giving will enhance the lives of others, and improves your experience as well. If, on the other hand, you keep tabs of “who” owes “who” you may be making yourself miserable waiting for others to repay your kindness. This type of point system can cause you to lose yourself in negative emotions. Negative emotions do not improve anyone’s life, and adding up every favor given can lead you down a dark path. Reciprocity is nice, and more times than not you will be pleasantly surprised just how many times kindness is returned, but may go unnoticed. Perhaps not necessarily by those, you helped, but often from a perfect stranger.

When you perform a simple act of kindness for someone, it’s a win-win. You feel good, and they feel grateful for your kind-heartedness. Helping one another is part of our human nature, and asking for help can be just as powerful. When we reach out to another human for help, we are opening the door to our own vulnerability. Asking for a favor is a sign of intimacy and trust. It reveals our willingness to be indebted to another and our need for a deeper stronger connection.   

Helping another freely and with an open heart allows us to make valuable connections. A connection is what we seek, and when we are void of human relationships we feel loneliness.  

So, give of yourself freely and do favors for those you care about, even strangers. But make it a point to not expect anything in return. Think of it as a small step in becoming the best human you can be.

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