X is for eX-Spouse and Staying Friends Have you tried it?

X is for eX-Spouse and Staying Friends Have you tried it?

eX-Spouse and staying friendsIs staying friends with your eX-spouse a possibility?

No matter what the reason for a breakup, ending an intimate relationship is a complicated process and more couples than not find it difficult to maintain a friendship, especially if the relationship was hostile. But for parents, life after divorce will require some level of communication and interaction as you both remain integral parts of your children’s lives. And as difficult as it may seem, it is possible to divorce gracefully and remain friendly with an eX.

If you find yourself in this unique situation, keep these tips in mind:

Maintain a healthy relationship

Have a clear understanding that you may not have worked together as a couple, but that doesn’t mean you can’t work together as mature adults. Accept that neither of you wishes to reestablish the marriage but you desire to be cooperative and cordial.

Give Each Other Time

Ending a relationship means letting go of the closeness you once had with a person. Let your hearts heal and take time to mourn the loss of your relationship before you begin a friendly encounter. You may also consider talking to a neutral third party such as a therapist.

Establish Healthy Boundaries

You must set healthy boundaries, for example, agree when you will and will not reach out to each other. Give one another time and space to reclaim independence and a sense of self. Do not go to each other to get your emotional needs fulfilled, instead go to a trusted friend or family member

Keep it Platonic and stay Friends

Keep intimacy off the table. No sex, no kissing, no touching. No matter how tempting and easy it may be to go back to old habits, you must refrain as it will only complicate the situation. You got divorced for a good reason, or you would still be married.

Start your future

By remaining friendly after a divorce, you can lay the groundwork for a healthy and productive shared parenting partnership. Set healthy boundaries, invest extra time in yourself, and understand that your efforts can lead to a future filled with dignity and respect for each other as you both enjoy separate lives.


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