S is for “Sleep Divorce” and Should you try it?

S is for “Sleep Divorce” and Should you try it?

sleep divorce should you try it?

Most couples enjoy the closeness of sharing their bed together. However, sometimes sleeping with your partner can present certain challenges. A recent survey of 3,000 Americans by Mattress Clarity found that over 30% of respondents would like to file for a “sleep divorce” and sleep separately from their partners. Most claimed their partner was the reason for their poor sleep.

To date, there have only been a handful of studies done on the effects of co-sleeping with a partner. Therefore, the results at present are inconclusive. So why then are people considering “sleep divorce”?

Some believe sleeping in separate spaces may help their relationship, others report sleeping alone cost them their relationship. So, what are you to do if one partner snores loudly, and the other is a light sleeper? Or perhaps one partner likes it cold and the other prefers a nice heated bed. Then some hog the blanket and the entire bed. Regardless of the issue, one way to enjoy a good night’s sleep may mean creating a separate sleep space.

Sleep is vital to our wellbeing, and without adequate rest, it will negatively affect the quality of our lives, and maybe even our relationships. But this doesn’t mean the first course of business should be filing for a “sleep divorce.” Your first strategy as a couple should be to help each other create healthy sleeping habits that benefit you both. For example:

  • Cultivate a similar sleep schedule and work together to sustain this practice. Go to bed and try to rise at similar times.
  • Turn bedtime into an enjoyable ritual as you spend quiet time together reading or having pleasant pillow-talk. Not only will this help you move into healthy sleep patterns, but it can also improve your relationship on many levels.
  • Turn off and/or keep screens out of the bedroom. Studies have shown screens are disturbing to brains preparing for sleep and creates distance between couples.
  • Set the room temperature to one that’s comfortable to both of you. However, studies have shown lower temperatures create overall healthier sleep environments.
  • And if you must sleep in separate beds, create a shared bedtime ritual spending time together before parting ways. And perhaps even a little cuddle time in the mornings when possible. This will keep closeness in your relationship.

Most people believe they sleep better in a shared bed with their partner. We naturally crave closeness and feel the safety and security of togetherness. Consciousness, consideration, and compromise are required for all levels of a relationship, especially the bedroom. So, before you file for a “sleep divorce,” look for ways to compromise creating a win-win for both parties. Your future self may be grateful that you did.


Subscribe to our newsletter and get our free divorce guide, “Divorce Dilemma”.