D is for Discuss Your Divorce

D is for Discuss Your Divorce

Knowing how to discuss your divorce with various people in your life can be tricky. You may be feeling low about the dissolution of your marriage, and may not want to discuss the details or have anyone other than your inner circle be aware. Or you may be excited and relieved for what is to come next, but don’t want to ruffle any feathers. Wherever you may be on this spectrum, know that it is normal to be at a loss for the right words.

Discussing your divorce with others should be something that you do on your own terms. Unfortunately, this may not always be the case, as people love to talk. But getting your truth out to those you trust is an important part of the healing journey. It is 100% up to you who to talk with what aspects about, but below are some tips for talking with common groups.

Discuss with your former spouse.

There are many resources for speaking with your spouse once you have decided on a divorce. But the most important thing is to stay level headed, and try to keep your emotions in check. This is important while making big decisions, like splitting assets.

Talk to your kids.

Being transparent with your children about your divorce is of the utmost importance. Be open and honest about the changes they will see to their family. Also, be supportive and compassionate as they go through an emotionally difficult time.

Discuss with mutual friends.

If you and your ex have the same friend group, it may be important to talk to your friends about boundaries you may have moving forward. This is especially the case if running into each other is possible, or if the split was messy. People tend to take sides even if that isn’t mature.

Talk to a therapist.

Divorce is messy. Talking with your family and friends may feel validating, but there is nothing like processing a major life event with a professional to help you process your feelings in a healthy way. If therapy seems too scary, there are support groups and books too. The most important thing is finding support in someone who doesn’t intimately know you both.


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