Just like the famous 1960s Western, all marriages can have the good, the bad and sometimes the ugly.

When you’re the one getting divorced, it’s easy to look to your friends’ marriages as storybook perfect. You may envy them or think they have ideal relationships. But remember that there is good, bad and ugly in every marriage, not just yours!

Of course, in the midst of a divorce, it seems all there is is ugly.

The fights over custody. The dividing of assets. The memories of your bad marriage, bad decisions, and what led you to these battles in the first place. Add to that the ugliness of your ex and all the “he said; she said,” and you’ve got a recipe for self-pity, hatred or other negative emotions.

But could all this ugliness be re-framed? Could get through the ugliness ultimately point you to positive change?

Perhaps you’ve been stifled in a marriage that overshadowed the real you. Perhaps you wanted a man to define your life, but instead you ended up living his. Or perhaps your husband is simply better for you as a “was” band.

Could divorce actually be the break that you need to hear your own voice, to try new things, to raise your children on your own terms, to manage your own assets, to plan your own future?

Many people who go through an ugly divorce come out for the better. Even through the ugly there are lessons to be learned. And sometimes, those lessons make way for not only the good, but for the best that is yet to come.