Religion, politics, and families set the stage for traditional relationships. Marriage was about security, and then it was sanctioned by religious expectations. According to Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity  “In the past when couples married they married for life. It was irrelevant whether you liked them or not. If you were unhappy, at best you waited for the other person to die.”

Times have changed, and relationships have transformed significantly in the past twenty years. Women have moved into the workforce in record numbers. Divorce has been consistently on the rise, and autonomy and independence have become an integral part of our pursuit of happiness.
We no longer have to live out distressed lives,  or ”waiting for the other person to die.” We can be proactive in positioning ourselves to be strong and independent should we need or want to stand on our own.

Our world is working toward men and women becoming more equal. So think about what equality means to you. Is it getting an education to position yourself more strongly in the workforce? Which option work or sacrificing the early years of your career to stay at home with your children? Is it establishing awareness and involvement in the family financial matters? Is it sharing the household and childcare chores so that you do not feel there is an unequal distribution of labor?

Take the time to redefine your relationship in a way that creates equality, happiness, and security in your life. Relationships are a work in progress and to turn each partner’s expectations into a reality, you must begin by stating your expectations.

Answers from A to Z