Jumping to conclusions in any aspect of your life can negatively impact both your mental health and your relationships.  And jumping to conclusions about your partner’s finances can be even more negatively impactful.

If you ever find yourself wondering why your partner can afford to take you out to lavish dinners weekly, or where their never-ending line of brand new shoes are coming from you are not alone. Money issues are one of the top problems causers within relationships. And of course, everyone knows the old adage about making assumptions. But when you are sharing your life with someone, it is important to be able to feel safe and open about important aspects of both of your lives. And whether you like it or not, that includes finances.

Jumping to conclusions about finances (or anything) can signal anxiety you may have not known you had. Sometimes these anxieties can be warranted, such as if your partner bought a car without consulting you with shared funds. But others may be small, such as reeling over them buying the wrong brand at the grocery store. Either way, jumping to false conclusions can strain the relationship.

Here are a few ways to be more positive, and to think before you jump.

Look at the Facts.

Instead of making assumptions, try looking at the facts. Instead of making up a worst-case scenario in your head, try to gather information. 

Ask Questions.

Instead of jumping to conclusions that are often negative, start by asking a question. Once you get an answer, then you can make a judgment based on facts, rather than feelings.

Change your Perspective.

Looking at things from a different viewpoint can change your perspective. Ask yourself why your partner decided to make this financial decision. There could be a variety of reasons why they might have made a decision you wouldn’t have made. Keeping an open mind can help to avoid conflict.

Jumping to conclusions, especially ones surrounding finances and your partner can destroy both your relationship and your mental health. Look to these tips for help rather than lashing out next time something doesn’t go perfectly. But, if your partner is constantly making poor financial decisions without you, don’t be afraid to talk to a therapist or your financial advisor for help.