Divorce is never easy. But what happens after the divorce is crucial to making both your life better, and making your kids lives better. There are positive ways to balance the delicate nature of your new life. Co-parenting is a great way to keep the kids lives stable, while also getting both the help and space you need to create your new life.

Co-parenting in this modern-day makes more sense than the old custody laws. Most women have full-time jobs, careers, hobbies, and social lives. Co-parenting makes things easier for both parents and also allows both the father and mother to be involved equally in their children’s lives.

Here are some helpful tips for successful co-parenting:

Both parents living in close proximity to each other helps make things run smoothly. The kids don’t want to be uprooted from their school, activities, or friends on a regular basis. Making things easier for you and the children is the goal; not to mention this will also cut down on your travel time.

Accepting that dad might let the kids stay up later and maybe mom lets them have ice cream every night isn’t always easy for the kids. They may say, “Well, dad lets us!” But by setting rules and letting the kids know that the rules may be different in different houses, and with consistency in your home, they will eventually get used to it.

Being smart about a schedule is of the utmost importance. Children need stability and parents need time to rebuild their lives. It is generally suggested that every other weekend is spent with the same parent. Rather than spending random spread out days together, sometimes it’s easier to spend two or three days in a row and then switch. Also, keep in mind that scheduling conflicts do arise so being flexible and understanding is key.

Of course like any marriage, no divorce is perfect. But it doesn’t have to be harder than it already is. Being flexible and looking at things with an open mind will help everyone deal with this transition. Remember, co-parenting is both parents being involved and working in the best interest of the kids. In the end both the children and the parents will benefit.