“Sure, I’ll cancel my plans to stay home with the kids.”

“No, no, NO – I don’t mind if you work late. I’ll keep dinner warm for you.” “More laundry? I LOVE laundry.”

As women, many of us have just a little experience with being the victim. We know the martyr oh so well. And you remember that good girl who doesn’t make waves? She’s our very best friend.

But here’s a novel thought: don’t be a victim in your marriage. And don’t be a victim in your divorce either.

Sure, it’s often easier to passively accept the status quo and to stay in a bad marriage instead of breaking out, risking what would be periods of intense pain and tremendous upheaval. And if you’re already facing a divorce, it can be easier to believe your ex attacked you unfairly, left you high and dry, hopeless and helpless to fix the situation.

But could you take charge instead and consider that divorce may actually be the answer to the real problem of a bad marriage? Try this: Be strong. Take back your life. Live it on your own terms.

That’s really the bold choice. And it’s part of the road from victim to victorious.